Paul Lawson, the managing director at Leo Burnett, felt the full force of a humiliating tongue lashing at the hands of Little Britain's Marjorie Dawes last week. Firmly ensconced in the very front row of the Hammersmith Apollo, the MD had to grin and bear it as the character played by Matt Lucas picked on him, asked him his name and then proceeded to call him "Fat Paul", to the delight of the 3,000-strong audience... Diary was sad to hear last week of the death of Derrick Haas, the one-time Collett Dickenson Pearce, Young & Rubicam and Ogilvy & Mather creative. He was widely believed to be the oldest art director still working in the business. The subject of Haas's age (he was thought to have been in his mid-seventies, but he remained notoriously coy about it) has been much discussed in many a creative department. Now it looks like the secret will follow him to his grave... Why isn't the Aston Martin-driving, St Tropez-dwelling Jonathan Stead in the top ten highest paid directors? Diary demands to know... Paul Walters, the head of art at Partners Andrews Aldridge, obviously enjoyed a pretty big night out last Wednesday. A keen young account handler came in early to catch up on some work, only to find Walters happily snoring away on the couch in reception.