Not much gets on my tits. However, I have recently been bombarded
by requests from bizarre dotcoms and hereby announce my intention to
launch a media website. Yes, FuckOff.com will be designed for all those
dotcom advertisers who expect me (a common media bloke) to help them
formulate their business plans.
These people have the vain hope that some Woopert in the City hasn’t yet
seen the Lastminute.com and Boo.com debacles and is prepared to hand
over ’a couple of mill’ to fund their get-rich-quick schemes.
Of course, neither us media sales folk nor the hapless media agency
fraternity will get a penny for the extensive advice being demanded -
just a vague promise of huge riches.
The small but nagging issue of funding needs to be resolved first and,
even if they do reach that stage, some weasly City contact may just have
an agency pal that they would prefer to use.
Frankly, I’ve reached the stage when the first thing I do is ask if they
have anything resembling a cohesive business plan.
FuckOff.com will be vital for all inept net entrepreneurs. Hopefully, it
will imprison them in a hopeless loop in cyber space, where they will
stay until they can talk something vaguely resembling sense.
Got something to rant about?
Call 020-8267 4718 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.