Sorry, I can’t connect you to the rant at the moment - I’ve got
somebody on the other line. Do you mind holding? (Insert Richard
Clayderman playing Greensleeves.) Hello? Oh yes, the rant. I’ll put you
At this point, the rest of the page should be blank, because you’re
about to disappear into a black hole from which you’ll never emerge.
Agency receptionists - what are they like? It’s hard enough getting a
media buyer on the phone in the first place, without having to suffer
some teenage wannabe who sounds like Dani Behr with the flu.
As well as being incompetent, some of them are downright frosty. Like
Criterion waiters and people who work in designer clothes shops, too
many agency receptionists have an opinion of themselves that far exceeds
It’s not so much what they say, but the way they say it. Do their
trainers tell them: ’Whatever you do, girls, don’t let an iota of warmth
creep into your tone’?
Of course, when you’ve tackled the receptionist, you have to get past
your target’s PA. Some of these make receptionists sound like
over-zealous geisha girls. I love the way they vet their boss’s calls.
Well I’m afraid he’s out/on holiday/in a meeting/dead at the moment.’
That’s when I slam the phone down.
I think I need a holiday. Can you hold while I bugger off for a month?