DIARY: What can stop the ad industry working for a week? Cannes can

Ah, le soleil. It's that time of year again to put down the pencils

and strap on those waterskis in a bid to shake off the hangover, while

wondering if that 17th glass of rose in the Gutter bar last night was

entirely necessary.

Yes, anyone who's anyone in this business is quaffing their belinis down

in Cannes - and it's good to see that nothing changes, as coughing up

for a round of drinks could still pay next year's junior creative team's


The familiar sight of the festival's European contingent clad in

toe-curling fluorescent pink micro shorts once again rules the public

beach, which must be one of the only places in the world where champagne

corks roll in with the waves to lap at the shore.

But the mood this year seems a bit more measured (until after 3am, when

anything goes). Even the stars seem to be feeling the pinch this year,

as an incognito Neil Morrissey was spotted lounging around on the

(gasp!) public beach with a (double gasp!) topless dark-haired beauty.

Go on, my son, Gary would be proud.

Talking of which, testosterone remains, as ever, high on the agenda.

Even at lunch time, it seems, when one producer was heard purring: "It's

never too hot for red wine and good sex" - over a glass of water. Oooh,

you tease.

The most over-dressed award so far has to go to the directing duo Daddy,

seen cruising the joint in customary sharp suits and overdone hair gel.

Very natty, boys ... but on Sunday night before anyone has even


The Traktor invite for this coming Saturday night is, as ever, hotter

than the promenade sand at midday. But when wandering from party to

party, be sure to sidestep the infamous leopard-skin clad mother and

daughter prostitute team.

And while it might be too early to see what carnage will unravel in the

throes of post-award delirium, D'Arcy is clearly expecting behaviour of

the lowest common denominator by being on hand to ferry you home safely

courtesy of an agency bus running along le Croisette. All 100 yards of

it. See you on board.