DIARY: Stroppy cows take no bull in saucy ad shoot

They say never work with animals or children, and Mustoe Merriman Levy and HLA found out why during a recent shoot involving a cow smeared in HP Sauce.

Jean, an unfortunately petulant bovine, had been selected for the task.

But after an unprovoked attack on another cow earlier, the diva heifer was not feeling co-operative. "She wouldn't perform,

a distraught Helen Langridge says.

As the one-day shoot rolled ominously on, the desperate crew turned to an alternative. Enter Randolph the bull, who strode in to the ring and performed the task in one go. "He did a stunning job, right on cue," Langridge says admiringly.

Little did Randy know that such a shining job would in fact save his bacon. For what should the team discover but that the very next day the star performer they'd all come to love was destined to be shipped off to the big cattle graveyard in the sky. Outraged, everyone on the shoot dipped into their pockets during a post-shoot pub session, and, saved by advertising largesse, Randy is now residing in happy retirement in a farm in Berkshire.