DIARY: TOP GEAR - Table tennis table

Many people say table tennis - or ping pong as it is known among GCSE French students - is a game for fat gits who can’t play proper sport or for spotty kids in youth clubs.

Many people say table tennis - or ping pong as it is known among

GCSE French students - is a game for fat gits who can’t play proper

sport or for spotty kids in youth clubs.



They are wrong. It is a superb game that requires skill, reactions, a

ridiculous serve and a decent-sized room. When played to a high

standard, you also need painfully tight shorts, a T-shirt and, as

evidenced by the one and only great British player Desmond Douglas, a

classic 70s afro.



However, when all is said and done, a medium-sized room will

suffice.



And when one of these beautiful tables is set up in your pad, your

quality of life will rise immeasurably.



Instead of having to sit through vacuous television programmes (as even

the most sociable media sales person must occasionally do), you can

invite your mates round and play glorious games of ping pong. This

sounds sad but, what the hell, you can even set up leagues and cup

competitions.



As your skill improves, the sound of the ball hitting the table will

become hypnotic. Suddenly you are in the ’zone’, smashing winners all

over the table in true Douglas fashion.



And if you are crap, at least you can have a lager while playing.





Table tennis table - around pounds 200



Available from various department stores and sports emporia.



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