Diary: The top Tweets from adland's Twitterati of 2009

Everyone's adjusting to a depressing life in the dark after putting the clocks back, so we're lifting the autumnal gloom with a taster of our end-of-year honours list. Here's our choice of adland's Top Ten Twitterers, along with their wit and wisdom.


6:40 PM May 26th

Reading London Lite and wondering why paedophiles always look so much like the stereotype. They need a makeover show on ITV.

12:47 PM May 29th I'm just buying an adapter for crying out loud. Why do you need to see my boarding card? F*** off!

7:31 PM Jul 10th Cpgn future CDs photo terrifying. Have seen less conformity in regimental portraits of the Waffen SS. More smiles, too!

11:45 PM Aug 17th Most depressing three words in English: 1 You've got cancer. 2 Red or white? 3 Replacement bus service.

12:11 PM Aug 23rd Naively delighted with the form of McDonald's free Coke glasses; the kind of thing you'd pay £4.95 for at The Conran Shop.


9:40 AM Jun 22nd so, Graham Fink is flying back to London from Cannes to see my talk. There is nervous and then there is *NERVOUS*

12:17 PM Jun 22nd So, Graham Fink is not flying back to London from Cannes to see my talk. There is relieved and then there is *RELIEVED*

8:53 PM Jul 16th going down the pub. Will try and not drink 5 pints of Guinness to not fuck up the 8am pitch tomorrow. i already know i will fail at this.

12:06 PM Sep 7th just been told not to twitter about something work related which i didn't even consider to twitter about, but now i want to twitter about it


10:01 PM Jul 7th Working on pitch presso. Want to include "this is as good as it gets, it's all downhill from here" - but perhaps that's too honest.

8:28 PM Sep 16th Trying to write funny stuff about different nationalities. Casual racism and lazy stereotypes are tough to swerve completely.

11:15 AM Sep 19th Local radio is like eavesdropping on retards. They've just been debating what a billion is FOR 30 MINUTES.

9:25 AM Sep 30th I've just spent 7 minutes reading gobshite about social media. Killing myself feels a little OTT as a response. But only just.


12:18 AM May 22nd my placement team, Alex & Conrad, desperate for me to find the money to hire them, sat up all night photocopying £36,000 from a £20 note.Genius

1:46 PM Jun 6th tess alps has offered £500 towards that placement teams salary at M&C saatchi. the ones who photocopied £36, 000 so i could hire them.

9:52 AM Jun 28th reflecting on the Cannes film awards. a few great winners, but on the whole a bit weak. some odd decisions and strangely very little humour.

2:50 PM Jul 14th just finished writing Private view for Campaign. There were five 60 second tv spots to review. i thought TV was dead?


10:45 AM May 19th Managed to cycle to work without packing my jeans - its been an expensive morning

8:49 AM Jul 8th so many chemistry meetings, i am thinking of investing in a lab coat, goggles and a bunsen burner

12:18 PM Jul 22nd Dear Lean Mean Fighting Machine, please stop sending me impersonal spam emails "informing" me of your latest work.

7:17 PM Sep 30th one thing i love about being knocked up is that if i get an urge for something like sweet and sour chicken, i just give in

8:10 AM Jul 19th the guy who owns the domain www.moms.com is trying to sell it to me for $5.1m

7:54 AM Aug 10th its ironic that I'm on holiday in one of the world's culinary hotspots and all i want for breakfast is bacon sarnie w red and brown sauce

1:50 PM Sep 23rd i have just been taught how to turn the blinking red light on BlackBerry off and it has already changed my life so so much for the better


5:36 PM Apr 30th Friend of mine just told me you won't catch the swine flu if you just turn off your TV. Most people are contracting it from CNN.

4:48 PM Jul 21st Half the people on twitter claim to be "social media experts." Where did they all come from and what is the criteria for expertise?

10:40 PM Oct 4th An IBM study suggests more change in advertising over the nxt 5 yrs than in the last 50. Damn, it's not like the last 25 have been easy.


9:46 AM Sep 8th I was just interviewed on GMTV. Apparently I'm responsible for binge drinking. Wish all the brewing companies thought that.

11:48 AM Sep 9th Kenneth Williams: "Everyone's becoming a specialist: getting better at less and less. Eventually someone will be superb at nothing."

4:18 PM Sep 18th Jordan claims she was raped. That'd be like chucking your tea grouts into the Thames wouldn't it?

4:38 PM Sep 20th Suppose I'd better go and turn the TV on. The football won't watch itself, someone's got to do it.

12:08 PM Sep 22nd Chas & Dave just split up. In the future this will be "Where were you when you heard it?" Just like John Lennon or JFK.


10:43 PM Aug 17th You may hate me, but at least I walk the talk.

1:36 PM Sep 17th Can someone explain to me why Ford could possibly be upset with WPP pitching Chrysler?

5:19 PM Sep 28th The beginning of the end of the world has arrived: Pepsi To Cease Advertising >)

3:34 PM Oct 1st Key criteria for hiring HR execs in adland: Must have no knowledge of the agency business and be professionally inspired by David Brent.


2:48 AM Jul 10th A truly awful suspicion is beginning to dawn on me, like a tarantula steadily crawling up the small of my back: I may not always be right ...

3:11 AM Sep 4th Wnek's Law: The worse the commercial, the more often we are forced to endure it.

3:03 AM Sep 14th WARNING: despite your lofty job title or fame or reputation Twitter will quickly reveal if you're actually a boring little person.

2:14 PM Sep 16th Amusing my friends with the delightful US slang quirk of saying the verb 'rock' in place of 'wear', as in 'I'm rocking a bowler hat today.'

3:47 AM Sep 18th I like the way the chairman of GM says vee-hickle.

3.06 AM Sep 23rd Watching 'Inspector Lewis' and feeling massively homesick.


5:33 PM Oct 7th Right. Fuck it. From recording studio to the gym to a bar. I'm an advertising executive, goddammit. This is how we roll.

2:29 PM Oct 8th Seriously though, Twitter. Enough. You have to let me work now. I will fight you.

1:37 PM Oct 9th It says everything about my job that it's when the shit is hitting the fan that I'm happiest.

10:23 PM Oct 10th Oh dear. I've gone and been all pompous on twitter. Normally I just slag off ads, get excited about cricket and make cock jokes. Honest.