DIARY: Tour of Droga's house uncovers his high-art, high-fat style of living

Pity poor Dave Droga. It's almost two years since he first got the builders in to gut and reconstruct his posh London home. No sooner had he overseen its completion, he was told to pack his bags and fly to the Publicis offices in New York.

Last month, in true Loyd Grossman style, Campaign Screen got to have a final sneaky peak around Droga's very own Xanadu. A more ornate palace of knick-knacks, artefacts and modern-art treasures you couldn't imagine.

Apparently, the much-travelled Droga is a sucker for indigenous salespeople and seldom returns home from a trip abroad empty-handed. The first trinket you see as you walk in is a model of a Sanussi bird - a pregnant, male bird that, legend has it, wards off evil spirits. Droga has it above his door in the hope it will keep junk mail at bay.

Taking pride of place in his front room is a metal sculpture of Hermes that he takes with him wherever he goes. This is no mean feat as it weighs the same as Garry Lace's pay packet.

Other gems include a massive glass wall, precious-metal buddhas and numerous sculptures made by his brother (he has to support the poor artist of the family).

However, like all truly creative people, Droga places art far above food and we were shocked and appalled to find his kitchen full of frozen pizzas, cheap sausages and general peasant food. Pah!

Since our visit, four Gulf-bound Army frigates have been diverted to Tilbury Docks to help Droga ship his colossal modern art collection across the Atlantic.

As for us, we're off back to our shared, urine-scented, rat-infested flat above a pet shop in Hackney.

Maybe we'll open a tin of a sardines and admire the Rolf Harris original hanging on the wall. It's a great business, isn't it?