DIARY: Turkey of the week

Jeremy White shudders when he sees the Senokot spot by McCann Healthcare Manchester: 'This laughably bad spot tiptoes around the subject of constipation with phrases like 'bloated'. The dream sequence is worse than anything on Sunset Beach. And then there's the line 'gentle and predictable relief'. Hilarious. The fact the woman can't function unless she purges her bowels is classic. What's next for her, colonic irrigation?'