Lost car found. Tried Camden council, company called Trace, and the police. Then sister pointed out it was parked outside the pub. Shaming.
4.04pm, 20 August
After 10 days away, can't find my car. It's not where I left it. I'm either mad, senile or robbed. No prizes for the first to say all three.
1.54pm, 20 August
Just slipped on new Thom Sweeney bespoke suit for the first time. Looks amazing! Do you have to wear protection for sex with yourself?
3.55am, 20 August.