DIARY: Do you want to spend two weeks on the lav?

An extraordinary mailer landed in the shapely lap of the Diary editor this week, extolling the virtues of...erm...‘toilet’ advertising.

An extraordinary mailer landed in the shapely lap of the Diary editor

this week, extolling the virtues of...erm...‘toilet’ advertising.



It was the long-awaited 1996 ratecard from Carl Pickford Advertising,

specialists in ‘On License [sic] Lavatory Advertising - male and

female’.



The mailer itemised the attractions of using bogs to communicate your

commercial messages. ‘Ideal medium for amusing and detailed copy’ it

claimed. ‘Accurate consumer targeting’ it boasted, alongside the

indisputable ‘Captive audience’.



Mr Pickford says the sites are ‘cleaned and serviced every two weeks’

and his staff make ‘700 million toilet visits each year’ (for

professional rather than personal reasons, we must assume).



It should be pointed out that this alternative medium is not cheap. A

‘Gold’ campaign, embracing the ‘most prestigious sites’, costs pounds

11,000 for a two-week run between January and February (and, strangely,

an extra pounds 2,000 between October and December).



The one-year-old company has not exactly been flushed with success so

far. Probably because the idea is crap.



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