The striker has always had a talent for finding the net, though not always to everybody's pleasure.
Crouch senior still remembers what happened when watching his lad play a blinder for Spurs youth against their Millwall equivalents.
Soon after kick-off, a Bentley pulled up alongside the pitch. Out stepped Peter Mead, now Omnicom's chairman, then the chairman of Millwall. He had come to run the rule over his son, Billy, whose role it was to mark Peter. Alas, Billy was having a nightmare. After Crouch had completed his hat-trick, Mead senior could stand no more.
Drawing on his Silk Cut, Mead buttonholed Bruce. "Do me a favour," he pleaded. "Tell your boy to stop my boy looking like a c**t!"