DIARY: Where's Winner? This week: touting himself

Welcome to the latest "Winner Watch", the regular feature in which Diary charts the whereabouts of Michael Winner. This week, Nigel Dempster of the Mail on Sunday spotted the millionaire Death Wish director's contribution to The Stage's letters page.

Following his characteristically charming letter to the editor, he wrote: "PS, if you've got £200,000 lying around, I'd be happy to star in a commercial for you."

It's unclear whether The Stage will take him up on his kind offer: all we know is that if your brand is old and tired and in desperate need of revival, you could do a lot worse than Winner. For a mere couple of hundred grand, he will do you an Esure - ie. he will write, direct and appear in an ad of laughable quality that, bizarrely, pulls like a train.

However, rumour has it that he's still not cracked that tricky Coca-Cola brief.