Bonjour, petits filous. Je suis votre professeur de Français cette semaine (at Campaign's Home School for mini creatives).
Let me clear things up before we start: I’m a terrible teacher, which is miserably ironic when one half of my family are or were either teachers, professors or lecturers.
My enfant terrible tells me to shush every time I try to speak French with her. My dear parents are up in arms and forever inconsolable.
My younger brother – who is a headmaster – is raising the perfect little girl. Polite. Self-sufficient. Measured. Well-mannered. The sort of child you can take to a restaurant and will not only sit still for an hour and finish her food, but also amuse guests by reciting a poem while everyone is having their digestifs.
My three-year-old is not that. She is like a velociraptor in Jurassic Park: cunning and jumping on you all the time. Luckily, she loves dinosaurs, so I’ve managed to teach her two handy life skills. First, know the difference between a brontosaurus and a brachiosaurus, and which one means thunder lizard. Secondly, to pronounce stegosaurus like a Latin emeritus.
Since we started working remotely, my partner and I decided to theme each day of the week and to create related activities. This week was pirates, monsters, trees, sea creatures (including mermaids), cooking, doctors and… I can’t remember the last one, to be honest.
I won’t subject you or your munchkins to any of that. Instead, I’ll pick dancing. My little one loves dancing a lot (I’ve had to dance to Christine and the Queens more times than I’ve attended creative reviews) and it’ll be my humble contribution to keep us all active.
This will exercise your quads and deltoids, and it’s a fun way to do fancy dress at home.
Moonwalking with socks is always a winner.
Down the corridor. Past doorframes. Picking up the mail. Just moonwalk around your house.
Bose 'Get closer'
Rhythm is a Dancer makes sweeping the most exciting hobby in the world.
John Lewis Insurance 'Tiny dancer'
Yup. That’s why I moved everything on to the top shelves.
Laurent Simon is chief creative officer at VMLY&R UK