I see BT is up to its old tricks - making adverts that bear no
relation to the realities of modern living. One offending ad’s message
seems to be ’get a second phone line at half price so your teenage
children can run up a massive phone bill’.
Another stonkingly clever idea from the masters of insanity. Obviously
no-one working on this account can have children. They are probably the
kind of work-obsessed, cocaine-snorting control freaks who only have
time for ’professional’ relationships.
If they did have kids (especially teenagers) they would discover that
teenage children have an uncontrollable passion for long conversations
with friends, anywhere in the world and at any time of the day or
Providing them with a separate telephone line would be like handing them
an American Express Gold Card and packing them off to Oxford Street for
a week - a surefire way of incurring a major financial headache.
This is, therefore, not an idea that is likely to appeal to the
potential purchasers of second telephone lines. Unless, of course, they,
like their kin-folk at BT, have a spectacular ability to waste
It’s a pity really, because having a second line is quite a good idea in
some cases - as an Internet connection, for example. If BT had done an
ad along these lines, millions of teenagers would probably be queuing up
to pester parents about how they could get a second line to do their
homework by modem - while secretly plotting the procurement of a private
Still a slightly shaky argument, but more likely to succeed. As it is,
BT’s current ad is almost certain to suppress sales. It’s distressing
coming from a major company using a well-known agency.
In an ideal world, the people responsible would be languishing in a dole
queue by now - the client for being insensitive and the agency for
obeying such crass instructions.
In fact, BT could very well make much more effective advertisements by
employing a number of well-trained chimps to sit at typewriters.
There is just one positive aspect of all this. As the people responsible
obviously have no children of their own, there is less chance of their
genes being transmitted to the next generation.