Media: Chatter

"I wouldn't let anyone look at my poo." - Jade Goody delights Edinburgh audiences with the revelation that, while she'll do most things to get on TV, she draws the line at having an enema

"Well, I say never say never." - James Hewitt responds to the same question, presumably prompting five's commissioning editors into action to find a suitable format

"I flew there by helicopter with (Mick) Jagger and Marianne Faithfull. She ... snogged him ferociously, unselfconsciously grinding her bum against me as she did." - Lord (John) Birt tries to convince the public he is not a Dalek, with an amusing yarn in front of a hostile audience at the Edinburgh TV Festival. He still makes Faithfull's bum sound boring, though

"In time, I'm sure that David Blunkett will see the funny side of it." - Kevin Lygo, Channel 4's director of programmes, announces his confidence that the dour former home secretary will eventually be chuckling at the forthcoming More4 drama that satirises his affair with The Spectator's publisher, Kimberley Quinn.