When Campaign said it wanted me to review Cream, I thought I’d made
it. Free entry, free booze, a night in a top hotel and access to the
notorious VIP room in Liverpool’s famous club. Job done.
My disappointment was immense when, instead of train tickets, a copy of
a new lad magazine called Cream arrived on my desk. But a deal is a
deal, so here goes.
Cream sets out its stall on the front cover. A couple of blondes next to
the cover line: ’Make mine a double - talking dirty with TV’s vodka
babes.’ What gives away the magazine’s agenda is that the women look (no
disrespect) a little bit ropey. Cream is Loaded’s downmarket little
FHM gives you scantily clad models and actresses with a bit of new lad
lifestyle thrown in. Loaded gives you game-looking girls with
Cream just gives you a lot of girls with a few tired features. I felt
like I’d read the article on the Internet porn industry a thousand
The problem is that Cream really isn’t offering anything new. The choice
of Jenny McCarthy for a feature also seems misguided, as she is one of
the girls FHM is using in its current TV campaign.
The magazine manages to take the intelligence out of the men’s mag.
Whether you like them or loathe them, Loaded and FHM are
FHM is undeniably slick and Loaded always comes across as having a
tongue firmly planted in its cheek.
Cream seems to be aiming for an audience who don’t even want to bother
reading the words.
This is a magazine for pond life. The irony is that the magazine ’for
men with bottle’ will only be bought by men who don’t have the bottle to
buy the real thing: Fiesta.