Ace investigative reporter that I am, I have spent the past few
weeks inveigling my way into Santa’s Lapland grotto. In the interests of
the media community, I have managed to get my hands on a number of top
secret leaked letters from key players in the industry and - in the
generous spirit of the season - I am happy to share them with you
now.
First out of the sack is a letter from the boys and girls at CIA
Medianetwork.
Last year’s missive to Santa clearly got lost in the post, so they’re
hoping this year’s message gets through. Top of their Christmas
wish-list is a modest plea - not for more presents, just to hold on to
the ones they’ve already got.
So many of their toys have been snaffled by the other kids in the
playground that this year the CIA team is asking Santa to make sure they
still have something left worth playing with. Mind you, one wish has
already been granted. CIA is looking for a new chief executive.
MindShare did well out of Santa last Christmas, and all the other kids
in the playground were jealous of MindShare’s game. But it doesn’t seem
to have been as exciting as it looked on the box.
And it also appears that there was at least one piece missing - the
little managing director.
In the meantime, this year the other kids are asking Santa for the
souped-up 1999 version of the game.
The boys at MediaVest want Santa to find them a mate for 1999. The other
kids in the playground are pairing off and the MediaVest team is getting
lonely. Its US parent has cruelly stamped on one budding romance, and
now most of the good-looking boys and girls have been snapped up. Could
MediaVest be left on the shelf if Santa doesn’t come up with the
goods?
Here’s a letter from Mike Tunnicliffe of Western, asking Santa for a car
for Christmas. But Mike’s not as greedy as he sounds. He, too, has
simple aspirations. He’s already got the car he wants - a Vauxhall. It’s
his pride and joy. He just hopes Santa will stop his sister, Universal,
nicking it from him. If Santa can’t help, Western might not be around to
leave the sherry and mince pies out next Christmas.
Leo Burnett’s media department is hoping to find the keys to a new home
under the Christmas tree. All of its mates have long since fled the nest
and, fed up with the usual sibling arguments and the same old turkey for
Christmas, the Burnett media folk are hoping this will absolutely be
their last Christmas at home with mum and dad. As long as they don’t
have to move in with cousin Motive, 1999 could be a good year, thanks to
uncle Bernard Balderstone.
Since this is the season of goodwill, let’s hope the media folk around
town get their wishes granted this Christmas. Now, I must remember to
send those leaked letters back to Lapland.
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