Aaron Spelling’s latest US soap has all the essential elements.

Aaron Spelling’s latest US soap has all the essential elements.

As the grandfather of the slick American soap, Aaron Spelling has a lot

to answer for, such as popularising the Farrah flick, shoulder pads and


His latest confection, Savannah, the new ten-parter showing on Friday

evenings on ITV, has been described as the Dynasty of the 90s.

The Spelling formula - ‘sordid affairs, illicit passion, intense

jealousy and murderous adultery’, as the Radio Times put it last week -

is as obvious as the hair-pieces.

Savannah is straight from the Spelling factory - it’s pure production-

line stuff. Think bitches and bastards, beauty and braun. The men have

jaw-lines you could sharpen knives on and the women wear cream silk


The best-looking men are ruthless womanisers - the most attractive women

need a man. And, wouldn’t you know it, the stunners always go for the

wrong guy.

As usual, what the Americans think are steamy sex scenes are barely

enough to get us Brits loosening our ties. The women are beautiful, but

about as good at playing sexy as Gaby Roslin. The men are generally on

the beefy side, with necks in short-supply, though there is something

strangely erotic about the way their lips caress those enormous cigars.

In Savannah, pretty rich-girl, Reese, marries Travis just minutes after

he’s had sex with her mate, Peyton - it’s two-pronged treachery.

For viewers who know that two and two makes four, there’s a sub- plot to

maintain interest. Conman Tom is out to make some money out of Reese’s

father, a millionaire who loves horses. Not content with trying to screw

her dad, Tom looks set to have a go at Reese as well.

On the evidence of the first episode, Savannah lives up to its promise.

It’s screamingly silly, great to look at and one big fluffy waste of

time. This programme is guaranteed to convince you that you really don’t

have a life if you’re watching it on a sunny summer’s evening. I’ll be

there next Friday.