Most mail-order catalogues are, for want of a better word, moribund. But the Nauticalia offering is a combination of brilliant products and the unintentionally comical.
While nobody could resist the James Bond-style Stealthboat (priced at just £39.95), you've got to wonder at the mentality of people who would buy "Lifelike Models of Historic Intrepid Ship's Cats". The descriptions in the nautical clothing section are truly inspired, culminating with a Breton Cap that "everyone copies, but only the French get right". A must for all wannabe salty sea dogs.
LOST SUNDAY NIGHT REPEAT
It's good to see Lost back in its weekly early-Sunday-evening omnibus slot on Channel 4. With a hectic life, it's often easy to miss the Tuesday evening 10pm slot, so the chance to recap on a lazy Sunday evening once the dinner plates are all washed up is a real luxury that has been sorely missed, even if the second series looks to be a bit of a disappointment so far.
THE BIG BROTHER/KIT KAT PROMOTION
We love the idea that one of this year's Big Brother contestants will be chosen by a Willy Wonka-style promotion that involves sticking 100 golden tickets in special Kit Kat bars. Scoffers who find the tickets will be entered into a prize draw to determine the final housemate. Expect a scrum down at the local newsagent and a rise in the nation's obesity levels as chocolate-eating hits an all-time high.
BORIS JOHNSON'S FOOTBALL SKILLS
We were as surprised as everyone else when the portly shadow minister for higher education trotted on to the field as a substitute in last week's England versus Germany "Legends" match. But despite Jade Goody-style preparation ("I haven't played since I was 18"), Boris was soon getting stuck in - launching himself head-first at the German number six Maurizio Gaudino.
The tackle was more akin to something seen at Twickenham, but Johnson claimed there was no malice intended: "I was going for the ball with my head, which I understand is a legitimate move." Who needs Wayne Rooney with Boris around?
AND ONE THING WE DON'T ...
The Da Vinci Code hype
The book was utter dross but millions read it so we had to put up with numerous conversations about it. Just as this fizzles out we get the Hollywood film, directed by Ron "Ritchie Cunningham" Howard and starring Tom Hanks.
Cue numerous media discussions about the film's significance and acres of TV advertising to drive us into the cinema. And Sony Pictures' agencies have clearly gone into overdrive - we've already had the "Break The Da Vinci Code" card game in The Sun and Eurostar anagrams on the London Underground. If you're into the film, try and crack this one: "Swoop sniff brand."