’New Woman, new danger’ screams the media pack to announce the
arrival of the magazine’s relaunch. More like ’New Woman, no new
surprises’, and a smattering of derivation at that. But the relaunch is
a worthy attempt to breathe spice into the life of a 25- to 35-year-old
’gutsy, glamorous working woman with a sense of humour’.
What the publishers have failed to realise, however, is that gutsy ABC1
women with a mean age of 31 don’t give a fig about meeting their
partner’s mum, or why Cameron Diaz has got high cheekbones, a movie
career and Matt Dillon.
Picking up the mag, I went straight to the feature, ’special men confess
about love, sex, cheating and c-c-commitment’, hoping to see an array of
handsome men with huge willies, only to find pages of fat blokes wearing
citrus-coloured shorts and a ’fun’ guide on why men cheat and how to
dampen their desire to press fresh flesh. One solution is to ’put bleach
in his hot cup of coffee. If that doesn’t work, put his genitals in
there.’ Works for me.
Women’s magazines have long needed a sense of humour, especially in
picture captions - but on every page?
For all its ’girls just wanna have fun’ writing and headlines, the
magazine oozes a feel-good factor. The feature ’tick, tick, tick’ about
women who have listened to their biological clocks and had children is
well written. Marketing Week’s ex-editorial assistant is New Woman’s
’love life’ editor. From news stories on relaunching a yoghurt to care
in the community - whatever next?