Caroline Marshall is not writing this. I am. I am her son and I am
almost two. I am writing this for her because her artikle last week got
her into a lot of trubble with some very serious akkount planners and
IPA big cheezes who think she should get the sak or some therapee
because she said I was able to read their new IPA book Shared Beliefs as
well as anyone and while watching Bob the Builder at the same time.
Right, I said, I will go back and read the book again and this time I
will watch John Webster's fantastik new Hamilton Mattress film which
features the first aaardvark in history to do anything interesting while
I am reading Shared Beliefs and looking at its weird pictures which
should be in Pseuds Corner anyway.
So even though my dad says "bloody hell what are you reading that
nonsense again for anyway?" I try to read the book with a less sinical
head on and then I say to my mum that she was right all along because
how can you trust a book with the words shared and beliefs in its title
and how can the number 20 kore principle of advertising be "all great
advertising has a great client"? Shurely that should be the first and
doesn't it look like the team of akkount planners sat around in a big
meeting at the end of the three year projekct when all the qwalitative
research had been done and said whoops we have forgotton to mention the
poor buggers who pay the bills so perhaps we should include a line or
two praising them at the end of the book or else we will not be able to
sell extra copies for £20 each to ISBA members.
The good news is that I have been sent a letta which is published in
Campain this week and in the letta I have been offered a job starting in
2020 at a agency called WCRS bcause I have read Shared Beliefs and got
600 years collektive experience and it will earn me lots more money than
trying to do trade press journalism for a living.
But my mum says to hold out for a job as a cretaive at Mother because
while I may not earn as much as at WCRS it will be more fun and it's in
Clarkenwall and you get to eat SuperNoodles in an old Sprite caravan for
lunch and there are no suits there. So everyone can say what they want
when they want and they are empowered to challenge things which means
that Mother staffers do not need to go back to consult their invisible
superiors to find out what they are authorised to think and nor will
they be buying any copies of Shared Beliefs because life is too
Right I have dun the artikle now and my mum will be back next week and
she will probably have to publish even more letters from irate akkount
planners and IPA big cheezes about the book. By the way does anyone know
what the starting salery at WCRS is these days?
- Lucas Jeffs was standing in for email@example.com.