Now let’s just see if I’ve got this right ... Larry’s gone to BMP ... Rooney hasn’t gone to BMP ... Tony’s gone upstairs ... Billy’s gone to Euro Wnek Wotsit ... Leon’s gone back to WCRS ... Richard’s gone, or maybe hasn’t gone, to JWT ... and I’m going to admit to feeling a little confused.

Now let’s just see if I’ve got this right ... Larry’s gone to

BMP ... Rooney hasn’t gone to BMP ... Tony’s gone upstairs ... Billy’s

gone to Euro Wnek Wotsit ... Leon’s gone back to WCRS ... Richard’s

gone, or maybe hasn’t gone, to JWT ... and I’m going to admit to feeling

a little confused.

Could any of the agencies mentioned above honestly be described as a

creative basketcase, desperately in need of fresh creative direction and

invigoration? And while the people moving in are, without a doubt,

extremely talented, are they any more talented than those moving


Hey ho, that’s the wacky (or is it wacko?) world of advertising for


Now, down to work. First up, the Pot Noodle film. Wacky or wacko? It

comes from an agency that has achieved considerable success by creating

pattern-interrupting advertising, often striving to make its audience

feel uncomfortable. In this film it has crossed the Shawshank Redemption

with Prisoner Cell Block H and given birth to a sort of Carry On

Slopping Out starring the Marquis de Sade. Without doubt, it stands out.

But whether it is the dog’s bollocks or merely bollocks is a question

that will, I suspect, divide the creative community for months to


The weekend Telegraph, so the advertising tells me, now has ten

different sections. (Yes, ten.) This provokes one of the most truthful

bits of advertising I’ve seen for some time. I think it tells me that,

with so much to read, I simply won’t have time to wash my car, blowtorch

my creme brulee, shampoo my hair or go go-karting. Oh well, never


Apple Computer, it seems, is making a comeback. Its founder, Steve Jobs,

is back running things, the company is back making money and its agency

is back doing ads that capture the unique essence of Apple. Both the

posters and the commercial are strong, simple and seductive. Their

message is clear. PCs are for bean-counters and other victims of a

forceps delivery, whereas Apple is for true visionaries like you and me.

I’ll buy that.

Thomson takes a novel approach to selling holidays by choosing to sell

the brochure instead. We see a holidaying woman experiencing deja vu

brought on by the honesty and detail of the Thomson brochure. It’s a

nice idea, nicely shot, though I must admit to a touch of deja vu

myself, since it provoked visions of a certain Tim Delaney swimming with

a bloke called Carlton Chase and some dolphins.

National Lottery Instants uses a number of shortish commercials to tempt

me into joining the 15 million people who are ’game on’. One shows a

bowls team intimidating its opponents with an impromptu All-Blacks-type,

pre-match war dance. Another reworks the old ’penis in the popcorn box’

gag. (One wonders if the Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre, in an

uncharacteristic and momentary loss of humour, rejected the original.)

To my mind, the last in the campaign is by far the best - two pilots

playing a particularly sick joke on thousands of stupid penguins.

Diesel, I hear, has now gone and got itself a pukka advertising


Paradiset’s brilliant use of spoof kitsch is a tough act to follow, and

I wish the new custodians well. Opting for Benetton-style shock tactics,

it brings us a denim-clad, geriatric granny grasping the groin of her

octogenarian partner. An arresting image certainly, but shouldn’t

someone remove the poor dear’s HRT patch before she kills the old


That’s all, folks.

Thomson Tour Operations

Project: Thomson Tours

Client: Shaun Powell, marketing and commercial director

Brief: Reinforce Thomson’s policy of honesty

Agency: BMP DDB

Writer: Nick Gill

Art director: Ewan Paterson

Director: Gregory Rood

Production company: The Paul Weiland Film Company

Exposure: National TV


Project: Pot Noodle

Client: Gareth Eyles-Owen, marketing manager

Brief: Increase the brand’s cult appeal with young people

Agency: HHCL & Partners

Creative team: Jas Gill, Katja Haecker, Steve Henry, Freya Noble, Mary


Director: Peter Cattaneo

Production company: Academy Commercials

Exposure: National TV

Telegraph Group

Project: The Daily and Sunday Telegraph

Client: Paul Woolfenden, promotions director

Brief: Create awareness of the ’ticket free for all’ promotion and

launch a six-part section on health

Agency: J. Walter Thompson

Writers: Rob Coolen (Daily), Steve Clarke (Sunday)

Art directors: Rob Coolen (Daily), Serge Pennings (Sunday)

Directors: Rob Coolen (Daily), Zadoc Nava (Sunday)

Production companies: Outlaw Films, Union Commercials

Exposure: National TV


Project: Diesel denim division

Client: Maurizio Marchiori, international advertising and communications


Brief: Communicate Diesel’s expertise in denim

Agency: Lowe Howard-Spink

Writer: Adrian Lim

Art director: Steve Williams

Director: Erwin Olaf

Exposure: Style magazines

Apple Computer UK

Project: Apple Computers

Client: Martin Capel-Smith, marketing manager

Brief: Restore belief in the brand

Agency: TBWA/Chiat Day

Writer: Not supplied

Art director: Not supplied

Director: Not supplied

Photographer: Not supplied

Typographer: Not supplied

Exposure: National posters, press


Project: National Lottery Instants

Client: Robin Bowler, marketing manager

Brief: Position the Instants brand as playful fun

Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi

Writers: John Pallant (’theatre’), Richard Baynham (’hakka’), Rupert

Jordan (’cinema’)

Art directors: Matt Ryan (’theatre’), Ian Gabaldoni (’hakka’), Stuart

Mills (’cinema’)

Directors: Simon Cheek ’theatre’, Jeff Stark (’hakka’, ’cinema’)

Production company: Spirit Films (’theatre’), Stark Films (’hakka’,

’cinema’) Exposure: National TV