are some rather gruesome ads for Barnardo's. And I mean gruesome in a good sense - they make you shudder and fill you with anger at the crimes perpetrated against the innocent. And you'd probably do something about it if you knew what it is they wanted you to do. A bit of copy would have helped, but you get the feeling those involved were more interested in collecting Pencils than saving children. Shame.
(Note to self: Try not to piss on the industry too much - you may have need of it in the future.) The other press campaign, for Uniball, is based upon quite a cute observation. When a particularly good biro runs out it's quite a sad moment. No, really.
I know where these guys are coming from. Sadly, I think this is more the stuff of TV advertising - these print ads don't quite capture it. Stick with the thought, though.
Who'd follow the John West "bear"? The shark execution is a noble effort but lacks the laugh-out-loud quality - and consummate comedy timing - of its predecessor. Of course, it's a good ad (there's a particularly funny bit where the shark's jaws clamp down on the bloke's head). It just ain't the bear.
Apparently some blonde bird has been scouring the "four corners of the world" for the elusive Fimbles. She wants to come round my house, the buggers are never off. I have seen these trailers so often I am heartily sick of them. And my kids only cheer up when the blonde gets off and the furry gonks come on. So why spend all that money sending a film crew round the world?
The version I got appeared to be a rough cut with some gash voiceover - which is odd, as the finished one has been on air for weeks. Heads will roll in a TV department somewhere.
Whereas with this next offering, they'll simply nod off. With Business Link, we have the Government (I presume?) using children to get their message across. A bit like BSE, then.
The charms of kids acting like grown-ups works every single time. Consequently, it is hard to imagine how these ads could be more unoriginal.
Finally an ad to get us to vote, from the Electoral Commission. Because if you vote, you can knock down tall buildings. And there was me thinking that was old Bin Liner's job. This sub-"Apple 1984" effort seems strangely old fashioned. As if votes were for smashing things down and creating a new world order. When we all know they're for selecting the next bunch of liars whose job it is to make a balls of running the country.
So that's it. I've heartily enjoyed these little chats - even the hate mail has been entertaining. But finally, I leave you with three things:
1. Clients know about that whole "make the logo tiny so they can make it bigger" thing.
2. If research produces unexpected results, it's usually wrong. And if it doesn't, there was no need to do it in the first place.
3. You are not paranoid. Everyone is trying to fuck your ads up.
I'll get my coat.
My invoice will follow.
BARNARDO'S
Project: Barnardo's
Client: Diana Green, head of advertising and communications
Brief: Raise awareness of child abuse through prostitution in the UK
Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty
Writer: Alex Grieve
Art director: Adrian Rossi
Typographer: Chris Chapman
Photographer: Phil Pointer
Exposure: National press
ELECTORAL COMMISSION/COI COMMUNICATIONS
Project: Annual canvass
Client: Anne Hinds, director of media and public affairs
Brief: Re-engage young people with voting
Agency: St Luke's
Writer: Matt Janes
Art director: Vic Polkinghorne
Director: Matthias Hoene
Production company: Partizan
Exposure: National cinema
JOHN WEST
Project: John West Tuna "shark"
Client: Jane Hilton, consumer marketing manager
Brief: Obsessed with the best
Agency: Leo Burnett
Writer: Martin Loraine
Art director: Steve Jones
Director: Traktor
Production company: Partizan
Exposure: National TV
UNIBALL
Project: Vision Elite brand campaign
Client: Amanda Wilson, marketing manager
Brief: Build awareness of, and create affinity towards, the Uniball
brand
Agency: Poulter Partners
Writer: Andrea Panicca
Art director: Jenny Scarr
Typographer: Jenny Scarr
Photographer: Paul Reas
Exposure: Consumer magazines and posters
BBC
Project: Fimbles
Client: Anna Hill, marketing manager
Brief: Encourage the trial of the new CBeebies programme Fimbles
Agency: DFGW
Writer: Simon Riley
Art director: Tim Brown
Director: Steve Cope
Production company: BBC Broadcast
Exposure: National TV
BUSINESS LINK/COI COMMUNICATIONS
Project: "Grown-up advice"
Clients: Adrian Cadwallader, head of communications; Matt Janes, senior
campaign manager
Brief: Build awareness and understanding of the Business Link brand
offering
Agency: Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy
Writer: Malcolm Duffy
Art director: Paul Briginshaw
Director: Lucy Blakstad
Production company: The Brave Film Company
Exposure: National TV
