PRIVATE VIEW: Nick Hastings, the executive creative director of D'Arcy

In the new Nescafe campaign we see coffee beans being tortured

until they agree to give up all their flavour. "We get more from the

bean for a great full flavour," the endline gushes. No-one will believe

it, and why should they? If the commercials were more entertaining,

maybe some kind souls would nod along, but the coffee beans' squeals are

indecipherable and the methods of torture - ie. being tickled - are

horrible to witness.



Since the campaign is informing us unequivocally how brilliant the

product tastes, I suspect there may be some happiness at the client end,

but when the effectiveness scores come in I can foresee much shaking of

heads.



Nothing but a B'Stard-like grin should be playing on the lips of the

Virgin Trains client. Rik Mayall is brilliantly funny as the gruesome

jerk who insists on not choosing the train. Dodgy editing on the train

versus plane commercial apart, the campaign is pretty much bang on.

Amazing how a few entertaining, intelligent and, above all, likeable

commercials can make you favourably inclined toward a service that

seldom runs smoothly. "Business brains take Virgin Trains." I'll go with

that.



When the Highbury Northbank chant "We got Dennis Bergkamp", they are, of

course, expressing how chuffed they are to have a world famous asset.

Whether or not the asset is being used properly is irrelevant. The

Rimmel clients will similarly be chanting "We got Kate Moss". Sadly, in

the commercials La Moss saunters, gorgeous but half-asleep, through two

flashily directed non-ideas. In one, a graffiti artist uses Rimmel

lipstick to create a design on her cheek.



In another, she somnambulates through London, and everywhere she turns

there's an ad for Rimmel. The voiceover says: "Rimmel. It's everywhere

you look." Something you wouldn't dream of saying if it was true.



The sweet-scented smell of success is surely wafting around the

Newcastle Brown offices. Their new campaign has a hole-in-one simplicity

that poster sites are mysteriously starved of, and the Sophie Dahl

pastiche, in particular, is outstanding. If your last name was Gripe,

you could say that the idea dramatises "new" at the expense of "cold",

but that Gripe fella has brought many a great idea to its knees, so I'll

stop right there. These posters are great, and they'll work

dambusters.



I could get angry about the Terre des Hommes campaign but, hey, it's

only advertising. Except it's more important than that, isn't it? Kids

being trafficked by evil bastards is a hugely emotive and important

subject, trivialised in this campaign by the tricksy, whoops I thought

you were talking about a cuddly animal conceit. Of course, another

grainy black and white shot of a suffering child may not shake the

world, but an idea that draws attention to the issue, rather than the

cleverness of the creatives, would have made better use of the client's

no doubt limited budget.



The lovely people at Benecol are obsessed with telling the world about

their spread's magical cholesterol-lowering properties. Currently I'm on

three tubs a day. In one of the new commercials a double-glazing

salesman has the misfortune to call on Mr Benecol's house, where,

mid-sell, the tables are turned and the salesman is regaled with a

diatribe about the spread's brilliance. Let's face it, "yellow fats" are

not words to get the pulse racing, and while this idea is not in the

same postal district as great, the excellent casting of Mr Benecol means

agency and client could well have a best-in-category campaign on their

hands.



NESTLE UK

Project: Nescafe Original

Client: Brett Grebert, category product manager

Brief: Communicate that Nescafe Original now gets more from the bean

Agency: McCann-Erickson

Writers: Leighton Ballett, Jason Gill

Art directors: Lee Goulding, Frank Houston

Director: James Haworth

Production company: Therapy Films

Exposure: National TV

COTY UK

Project: Rimmel Exaggerate Hydra Colour Lipstick

Client: Emmanuelle Bonte, marketing director

Brief: Launch Rimmel's new Exaggerate Hydra Colour Lipstick

Agency: J. Walter Thompson

Writer: Jason Berry

Art director: Robin Harvey

Director: Andy Morahan

Production company: Harry Nash

Exposure: TV

BENECOL

Project: Brand relaunch

Client: David Goldsmith, general manager

Brief: Reposition Benecol as experts in reducing cholestrol

Agency: Miles Calcraft Briginshaw Duffy

Writer: Ella Wilson

Art director: Caroline Oliver

Directors: Adam Springfeldt, Henrik Sundgren

Production company: Acne Films

Exposure: National TV

VIRGIN TRAINS

Project: Business Travel

Client: Craig Inglis, marketing director

Brief: Highlight the advantages of business rail travel over cars and

planes

Agency: Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe/Y&R

Writer: Bill Hartley

Art director: Giles Hepworth

Director: Kirk Jones

Production company: Tomboy Films

Exposure: National TV

TERRE DES HOMMES

Project: Stop child trafficking

Client: Christian Ramm, marketing director

Brief: Raise awareness of the horrors of child trafficking

Agency: Springer & Jacoby UK

Writer: Thomas Chudalla

Art director: Tony Hector

Typographer: Tivy Davies

Photographer: Chris Fraser-Smith

Exposure: Press and posters

NEWCASTLE BROWN

Project: 330ml bottle launch

Client: Cara Chambers, brand director

Brief: Raise awareness of new size bottle and brand being launched on

draught

Agency: Circus

Writer: David Prideaux

Art director: Tim Ashton

Typographer: Chris Wigan

Photographer: John Swannell

Exposure: Manchester only