It's rampant Big-scary-adult's-bonce-on-tiny- child's-body syndrome.
And stone me if it hasn't been and gone and reared its big old ugly head again, this time in a campaign for the Meningitis Trust. Yet while the Barnardo's stills still instill me with the screaming abdabs, I can't help feeling that these little fellas look more like extras from Thunderbirds.
Which is a pity, as there appears to be a potent creative solution lying undisturbed in the shallow grave of the body copy and its worrying list of symptoms. I'm also less than enamoured with Somerfield's sponsorship logo being more prominent than the charity's own. Just give 'em the money and stop boasting about it will you?
For me, there are really only three basic types of advert. The brilliant (and more of Wrangler later), the self-basting turkey (limp forward Gossard's tragedy in a G-string) and absolutely everything else. ie, the vast majority of what we all do. People Like Us. Ads like Goodfellas.
Goodfellas is an okay campaign, it was a much better TV series and an utterly sensational movie. I hope it shifts some frozen dough for them.
And what better way to wash down your plate of freshly thawed cheesy rim than with a big plastic tumbler full of room temperature Black Tower?
Works for me every time. Especially when I want to be me. Small technical point: woman in the "bath" execution. Is she enjoying herself or is she, enjoying herself?
So. Volvo. Look, I know childhood is an adventure. That big trips away can cause young minds to conjour faeries, monsters and ghouls. (And yes, away ghouls do count double.) But really. Travelling with kids isn't a fabulous dream. It's a living bloody nightmare. And as for "Elvis" ... Again?
And the unicorn? Well, it's corn alright, but unique has left the building.
Well lookee here. A Wrangler commercial from BBH. For Audi. It's true.
Man mounts metaphor in order to demonstrate the safety of dynamic ride control. As you do. If you think that sounds ordinary, look away now.
This has one of the most extraordinary soundtracks I've ever heard on television. And visually? How does magnificent sound?
Cast your mind back to the last series of Big Brother. Amid the mind-numbing banality of it all, and probably on the evening of "Deh Fuffteeen", something happened. The blonde one who won and the Geordie one who didn't suddenly started fighting each other in an exaggerated, slow-motion wild western movie stylee. It was magnetically funny.
Well, coincidence or not, this tiny act has just been turned into a thing of staggering beauty on behalf of Wrangler.
This will sell denim. This will be lovingly re-enacted in every bar from Dodge City to Dalston Junction. This has finally cracked the uncrackable brief of extricating cowboy cool from John Wayne and the Village People. Levi's? Go rub yourself. This is smoother than the cream in a Twinkie. Word up.
If you consider yourself creative, know this. There's Silburn, Brazier and Worthington. Then a vast, vast chasm. Then the rest of us.
GOODFELLAS
Project: Stone baked pizzas
Client: Paul Reenan, pizza marketing manager
Brief: Why eat out when you've got Goodfellas pizzas in your freezer?
Agency: Leith London
Writer: Leith London
Art director: Leith London
Director: John Birkin
Production company: Blink
Exposure: UK and Republic of Ireland TV
VOLVO
Project: XC90 launch
Client: Simon Munn, sales and marketing director
Brief: Launch the XC90, Volvo's new SUV
Agency: MVBMS New York
Writer: Jason Holtzmman
Art director: John Tumelpy
Director: Rad-ish
Production company: Go Films
Exposure: National and satellite TV
BLACK TOWER
Project: Black Tower
Client: Hans W Berktold, director of marketing
Brief: Make the new Black Tower range fit into the lives of today's
young women
Agency: Nest Ideas Agency
Writer: Grant Dinsmore
Art director: Suki Nicholls
Photographer: Tony Chau
Exposure: Women's magazines
AUDI
Project: Bull
Client: David George, communications manager
Brief: Demonstrate Audi's engineering prowess through the new Audi RS6
Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty
Writer: Nick O'Bryan-Tear
Art director: Alasdair Welsh
Director: Nicolai Fugslig
Production company: Outsider
Exposure: National TV
WRANGLER
Project: Wrangler
Client: Guido Gabriel, marketing manager, Wrangler Europe
Brief: Make Wrangler's authentic Western associations relevant to
contemporary European consumers
Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO
Writer: Nick Worthington
Art director: Paul Brazier
Director: Fredrik Bond
Production company: Harry Nash Films
Exposure: European TV, cinema
MENINGITIS TRUST
Project: Adults get it too
Client: Nicola Davies, communications director
Brief: Make adults aware that meningitis affects them too
Agency: Target Marketing Communications
Writer: Gerry Doran
Art director: Terry O'Neill
Photographer: Richard Puller
Typographer: Terry O'Neill
Exposure: Press and poster