Hi. As I write this, I’m sitting at home on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

Hi. As I write this, I’m sitting at home on a sunny Saturday


Unfortunately, my video has packed up and I’m buggered if I’m going to

venture out into that Saturday afternoon battle-ground they call the

high street to do anything about it. But I did give the ads a whizz

through at work yesterday. So today I’m Private Viewing by the seat of

my pants. OK?

Radio 1. We’ve all been looking forward to Fallon McElligott’s first

piece of work and here it is. ’One love’ is the idea, and a very neat

idea it is too. It’s all about people who love Radio 1 to the point of


The ads? Well, as the crowd gathered in my office to watch yesterday,

one account man who shall remain nameless said, ’They’re very nice

Volkswagen Polo ads,’ which I thought a little unfair. It’s a great

start from an agency that no-one wants to see on the same pitch-list as

themselves. We love ’One love’.

Volvo. It looks to me as though Tom and Walt have been taken off the

case. Too busy making Guinness - the Volvo of stout ales - sexy, I

assume. So Volvo has dropped the rock ’n’ roll from the advertising for

its estate car, and gone back to being very middle class.

This, however, is not a problem. My favourite is: ’Voted one of the most

beautiful estate cars in the world. Now all you need is kids.’ (Gentle

sound effects of middle-class couple shagging from the bedroom window of

the house that the Volvo is parked outside.) These ads establish a look,

tone and wit for Volvo that seems just right.

Massow Financial Services must have picked an advertising agency that

uses a lot of freelancers. This press campaign, art directed in the

’modern style’, seems to be obsessed with them. Which I suppose is fair

enough since Massow is targeting itself at minorities and those not in

permanent employment. I’d put these ads in the ’interesting, but a

teensy bit self-indulgent’ category.

For me, the art direction obscures a sound strategy and interesting


Kellogg unveiled its new chocolate Rice Krispies bar with a teaser


Clearly, within the corridors of Kellogg, this bar is considered a

breakthrough concept. But I’m sorry, it’s not. And consequently the ads,

charming though they are, just don’t seem to ring true. The ads create a

bang, but the product is just a whimper.

Nike’s new commercials seem to be more like beer ads than Nike ads.

Probably very wise, given that there are a great deal more beer drinkers

than athletes in the world. The best one, for me, is the tennis match

between John McEnroe and the devil. OK, so it’s a recycled idea, but who

cares? McEnroe finally dispatches the devil by serving a clove of garlic

rather than a tennis ball. Ace.

And finally. Lloyds is merging with TSB. Or at least that’s what I think

this advertising is saying. Let’s face it. When two great financial

institutions merge, it’s mainly for their benefit, not the consumers. So

at least offer us compensation in the form of great advertising.

This commercial is littered with visual cliches, dodgy branding devices,

vacuous endlines and, worst of all, music from the Corrs! First my video

recorder breaks down, and now I daren’t turn on the TV for fear of

seeing this. Thanks a bundle.


Project: Radio 1

Client: Gail Nuttney, marketing manager

Brief: Express Radio 1’s passion for music in a way that makes the

station more inviting

Agency: Fallon McElligott

Writer: Andy McLeod

Art director: Richard Flintham

Director: Ringan Ledwidge

Production company: The End

Exposure: National TV, cinema


Project: V40

Client: Sarah Buckle, marketing communications manager

Brief: Position the V40 as the Volvo estate you’d buy for its looks


Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writer: Jeremy Carr

Art director: John Gorse

Director: Ivan Zacharias

Production company: Blink

Exposure: National TV


Project: Lloyds TSB

Client: Ford Ennals, director of group marketing

Brief: Position the new Lloyds TSB as the bank that supports its


Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi

Writer: Kes Gray

Art director: Dennis Willison

Director: Joe Public

Production company: Partizan

Exposure: National TV


Project: Chocolate Rice Krispies Squares

Client: Mark Baynes, director of convenience foods

Brief: Launch the new flavour of Kellogg’s Rice Krispies Squares

Agency: Leo Burnett

Writer: Robert Gill

Art director: John Jessup

Director: Martin Granger

Production company: Avion Films

Exposure: National TV, cinema, press


Project: Massow Financial Services

Client: Sania Stoney, operations manager

Brief: Build a brand of financial advice for people who are getting

fucked and don’t know it

Agency: Mother

Creative: Mother

Photographer: Jack Webb

Exposure: Women’s style & lifestyle magazines, media trade and gay press


Project: Nike

Client: Rob DeFlorio, advertising director

Brief: Create a campaign that is visually arresting, inspirational and

puts Nike’s most innovative performance product in the starring role

Agency: Wieden & Kennedy Amsterdam

Writer: Boyd Coyner

Art director: Alvaro Sotomayor

Director: Michel Gondry

Production company: Partizan

Exposure: National TV

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