I wrote this column in my sleep last night. The only problem was, when I
woke up all set to transcribe it, I realised that none of the ads was on
the reel Campaign had sent round - I’d just dreamt them up. There was
one featuring Morecambe and Wise in bed together for Dentyne mouthwash
(I don’t know if the product exists), which I remember being
particularly critical of. ‘Just because they sleep together, it doesn’t
automatically follow that their relationship is one that could be
improved with fresher breath,’ I reasoned. There are two interpretations
of this dream. One has implications for my sex life, and is not relevant
to this column. The other is that it is easy to be critical of others
because in the morning, when I discovered it was my own idea, I quite
liked it.
The ad for Hyundai shows a car designer at work who keeps seeing the
curvy shapes of Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren and Anita Ekberg.
Inspiration strikes, and he translates these shapes into the body lines
of the new Hyundai Lantra. What’s so edgy about this idea is the way you
get yourself wound up at being subjected to such blatant sexism, through
the exploitation of the female stereotype, until the clever twist at the
end. Right on the beat this one.
The new Sekonda spot brings us the thought: ‘Time is precious, it
doesn’t have to be expensive.’ The ad takes footage from a television
interview with the late Poet Laureate, Sir John Betjeman, and asks if he
has any regrets about his life. ‘Yes, I haven’t had enough sex,’ he
says. The fact that half the target market don’t know, or even care,
about Sir John Betjeman matters not one bit. He said it. It’s shocking.
And it’s very funny. The campaign’s got legs, so we should be seeing
some more of these.
Next, the Umbro idents for Midweek Sports Special. Considering some of
them are only five-second bumpers - good to see a bit of new ad jargon
creeping in here - they work very well. These idents reflect the kind of
irreverence found in programmes like Baddiel and Skinner’s Fantasy
Football. Anyway, the best of this lot has a goatee-bearded fan asking
his ‘Y’-fronts: ‘How can you call yourself lucky pants when we lost 2-
0?’
And now the ad for Agent Provocateur - the Soho ‘underwear’ store that
recently threw the party of the year. You can’t walk past it without
looking in - and that’s what this ad’s about. A bloke presses up against
the window and fantasises about the mannequins coming to life, until he
develops a hard-on of such rigidity that bang, or rather, smash, it
breaks the glass. It certainly captures the spirit of Agent Provocateur,
but doesn’t have the performance or timing of Steve Martin, who did the
gag first in The Man With Two Brains.
Whyte and Mackay has set its agency a tricky task: ‘Get us some young
drinkers.’ So it decided to get Phil Kay in to take the piss out of
stuffy old Scotch values and traditions. The one where he asks for Whyte
and Mackay with cola is the best, but really, we’ve seen it all before.
Unfortunately, the approach is never going to be fresh enough to cut it
with the Ecstasy crowd.
Finally, Trivial Pursuit. I don’t know what to say. I don’t really
understand the ads. They don’t exactly make you look forward to a game.
In fact, as it’s portrayed as something played by a lot of stereotypes
with whom you’d rather practice your skills as marksman than as a quiz-
master, it does just the opposite.
By the way, if the Morecambe and Wise ad does exist, and I unwittingly
picked it up from the collective subconscious, I apologise to the
creative team for taking the credit.
1 Whyte and Mackay
Project: Whyte and Mackay Special Reserve Whisky
Client: Ronnie Leggett, brands controller
Brief: Position Whyte and Mackay as a credible spirit brand among younger drinkers
Agency: Collett Dickenson Pearce
Writer: Ros Sinclair
Art director: Sean Thompson
Director: Geoff Posner
Production company: Academy Films
Exposure: National TV
2 Agent Provocateur
Project: Agent Provocateur
Client: Joe Corre, founder
Brief: Establish Agent Provocateur as the raciest underwear you can buy
Agency: BST-BDDP
Writer: Oliver Devaris
Art director: Brian Connolly
Director: Eugene McGing
Production company: Genie Films
Exposure: London cinemas
3 Umbro
Project: Umbro
Client: Peter Draper, marketing director
Brief: Bring to life Umbro’s position as the heart and soul
of football
Agency: D’Arcy Masius Benton and Bowles
Writer: Steve Boswell
Art director: Steve Drysdale
Director: Fred Rees
Production company: Nelson Films
Exposure: Carlton, Central and Granada TV
4 Hyundai
Project: Lantra
Client: Ken Lee, marketing director
Brief: Launch and position the new Lantra as a stylish and distinctive alternative to mainstream marques
Agency: Leagas Delaney
Writer: Tim Delaney
Art director: Tim Delaney
Director: David Garfath
Production company: Paul Weiland Film Company
Exposure: National TV
5 Hasbro Games
Project: Trivial Pursuit
Client: Sharon Carter, marketing director
Brief: Revitalise Trivial Pursuit - turn it from 80s to 90s
Agency: Griffin Bacal
Writer: Robin England
Art director: Claire Donovan
Photographer: Jane Hilton
Exposure: Posters and national press
6 Time Products
Project: Sekonda
Client: Nick Smith, managing director
Brief: Reassert Sekonda’s position as the UK’s leading watch brand
Agency: M&C Saatchi
Writers: Richard Dean and Simon Dicketts
Art director: Martha Riley
Exposure: National TV
