After more than two decades in the wilderness, surely we’ve earned
a victory. OK, we screwed up in the past, but haven’t we paid for our
mistakes? Jeered at, sneered at, pulverised and humiliated throughout
the land, a succession of weak leaders dragging us ever lower in the
eyes of the nation. Defeat heaped upon defeat, our outdated strategies
and philosophy fooling no-one.
But now we’ve changed. Honest. There’s a new man in charge with new
It’s our turn, dammit. We’re not asking for a landslide. One-nil will
do. A tap-in, a penalty, anything. Dear God, just let Chelsea lift the
cup this Saturday.
I have a hunch that the team who produced the latest offering from Umbro
must be CFC fans. The scene where a young kid makes an embarrassing hash
of an overhead kick, ending up on his bum while his mates snigger, could
only have been inspired by Paul Furlong, a one-time Chelsea striker who
found the net maybe once a season. The ad shows us the torment and
heartache of players and fans alike. ’Ever think about taking up another
Neither do we,’ Umbro says. A nice idea in a strong campaign, I say.
There’s just one problem. I’m not sure the ad is as emotive as it might
Last weekend I saw the tear-streaked faces of Sunderland and Boro fans
as their teams dropped through the Premier League trap-door. Somehow
this ad hasn’t harnessed that gut-wrenching emotion. A good shot, but
did it cross the line? Over to you in the studio.
From Lil-lets, another ad that goes about its business very quietly and
discreetly. It’s so clean and fresh, I’d certainly buy it.
Also proving that less is more is a new poster campaign for French
I saw one of these in the street the other night. Acres of white space
and just the letters f c u k in the top right-hand corner. It certainly
grabbed my attention. Will the punters be able to decipher it, or am I
just being a miserable old fcuker? Love it or hate it, more unmissable
work from our Trev.
If awards juries were composed of giggling, dribbling, snot-nosed
five-year-olds (whaddya mean, they already are?), the Rowntree’s Fruit
Pastilles ads could strike it big. Either way, I dare not offend the
gods by speaking ill of anyone before the final whistle on Saturday. So
let’s just say these ads are, um ... here whether we like it or not.
No need to be nasty about this ad for Whiskas. It’s very nice. ’Punter
preferring product to anything else’ is the oldest idea in the book.
But when that punter is a tomcat and that ’anything else’ is a bit of
rumpy-pumpy with the feline equivalent of Melinda Messenger, it doesn’t
seem to matter.
Speaking of the book, the two new ads for Adams Childrenswear should fit
’Mummy, there’s something green and nasty in the wardrobe with dangly
arms and it won’t go away!’ an anxious daughter pleads.
Cut to the world’s ugliest green dress, displayed on a hanger. ’See?’
the little monster says.
Well, it gave me a couple of laughs.
My deepest fear is that, post-Saturday afternoon, laughs could be a
commodity in all too short supply.
As you can see, I wrote this piece before the FA Cup Final and I am now
either the most wretched or most deliriously happy man alive.
Project: Adams Childrenswear
Client: Karen Calderwood, brand director
Brief: Position Adams as the children’s clothes that children want
Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty
Writer: Roger Beckett
Art director: Andrew Smart
Director: Simon Cheek
Production company: Spirit Films
Exposure: Regional TV
Project: Umbro brand
Client: Peter Draper, marketing director
Brief: Strengthen Umbro’s image as the authentic badge of true football
Writer: Nick Hastings
Art Director: Dave Godfree
Director: Simon Levene
Production company: Rose Hackney Barber
Exposure: National TV
Client: Chris Burton, marketing manager
Brief: Reposition new Whiskas as a brand that understands cats
Agency: M&C Saatchi
Writer/art director: Kevin Thomas
Director: Roger Woodburn
Production company: Park Village Productions
Exposure: National TV
Project: Brand campaign
Client: Stephen Marks,
Brief: Relaunch French Connection as a leading fashion chain with
Writer: Trevor Beattie
Art director: Jay Pond-Jones
Photographer: Neil Davenport
Typographer: Mick Tonello
Exposure: Regional 96-sheet, supersites, style press
Client: Sue Hawksworth, brand manager
Brief: Launch summer fruits
Agency: Ammirati Puris Lintas
Writer: Joolz Sparkes
Art director: Nelson Taj
Photographer: Stock shots
Typographer: Simon Fairweather
Exposure: National posters
SMITH AND NEPHEW CONSUMER PRODUCTS
Project: Lil-lets tampons
Client: Shelley Law, marketing manager
Brief: Quietly announce the growing success of Lil-lets in the tampon
Agency: Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe
Writer: Robert Campbell
Art director: Mark Roalfe
Director: Simon Taylor
Production company: Tomato
Exposure: National terrestrial and satellite TV