PRIVATE VIEW

After more than two decades in the wilderness, surely we’ve earned a victory. OK, we screwed up in the past, but haven’t we paid for our mistakes? Jeered at, sneered at, pulverised and humiliated throughout the land, a succession of weak leaders dragging us ever lower in the eyes of the nation. Defeat heaped upon defeat, our outdated strategies and philosophy fooling no-one.

After more than two decades in the wilderness, surely we’ve earned

a victory. OK, we screwed up in the past, but haven’t we paid for our

mistakes? Jeered at, sneered at, pulverised and humiliated throughout

the land, a succession of weak leaders dragging us ever lower in the

eyes of the nation. Defeat heaped upon defeat, our outdated strategies

and philosophy fooling no-one.



But now we’ve changed. Honest. There’s a new man in charge with new

ideas.



It’s our turn, dammit. We’re not asking for a landslide. One-nil will

do. A tap-in, a penalty, anything. Dear God, just let Chelsea lift the

cup this Saturday.



I have a hunch that the team who produced the latest offering from Umbro

must be CFC fans. The scene where a young kid makes an embarrassing hash

of an overhead kick, ending up on his bum while his mates snigger, could

only have been inspired by Paul Furlong, a one-time Chelsea striker who

found the net maybe once a season. The ad shows us the torment and

heartache of players and fans alike. ’Ever think about taking up another

sport?



Neither do we,’ Umbro says. A nice idea in a strong campaign, I say.

There’s just one problem. I’m not sure the ad is as emotive as it might

have been.



Last weekend I saw the tear-streaked faces of Sunderland and Boro fans

as their teams dropped through the Premier League trap-door. Somehow

this ad hasn’t harnessed that gut-wrenching emotion. A good shot, but

did it cross the line? Over to you in the studio.



From Lil-lets, another ad that goes about its business very quietly and

discreetly. It’s so clean and fresh, I’d certainly buy it.



Also proving that less is more is a new poster campaign for French

Connection.



I saw one of these in the street the other night. Acres of white space

and just the letters f c u k in the top right-hand corner. It certainly

grabbed my attention. Will the punters be able to decipher it, or am I

just being a miserable old fcuker? Love it or hate it, more unmissable

work from our Trev.



If awards juries were composed of giggling, dribbling, snot-nosed

five-year-olds (whaddya mean, they already are?), the Rowntree’s Fruit

Pastilles ads could strike it big. Either way, I dare not offend the

gods by speaking ill of anyone before the final whistle on Saturday. So

let’s just say these ads are, um ... here whether we like it or not.



No need to be nasty about this ad for Whiskas. It’s very nice. ’Punter

preferring product to anything else’ is the oldest idea in the book.



But when that punter is a tomcat and that ’anything else’ is a bit of

rumpy-pumpy with the feline equivalent of Melinda Messenger, it doesn’t

seem to matter.



Speaking of the book, the two new ads for Adams Childrenswear should fit

in nicely.



’Mummy, there’s something green and nasty in the wardrobe with dangly

arms and it won’t go away!’ an anxious daughter pleads.



Cut to the world’s ugliest green dress, displayed on a hanger. ’See?’

the little monster says.



Well, it gave me a couple of laughs.



My deepest fear is that, post-Saturday afternoon, laughs could be a

commodity in all too short supply.



As you can see, I wrote this piece before the FA Cup Final and I am now

either the most wretched or most deliriously happy man alive.



ADAMS CHILDRENSWEAR

Project: Adams Childrenswear

Client: Karen Calderwood, brand director

Brief: Position Adams as the children’s clothes that children want

Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty

Writer: Roger Beckett

Art director: Andrew Smart

Director: Simon Cheek

Production company: Spirit Films

Exposure: Regional TV

UMBRO INTERNATIONAL

Project: Umbro brand

Client: Peter Draper, marketing director

Brief: Strengthen Umbro’s image as the authentic badge of true football

lovers

Agency: DMB&B

Writer: Nick Hastings

Art Director: Dave Godfree

Director: Simon Levene

Production company: Rose Hackney Barber

Exposure: National TV

PEDIGREE PETFOODS

Project: Whiskas

Client: Chris Burton, marketing manager

Brief: Reposition new Whiskas as a brand that understands cats

Agency: M&C Saatchi

Writer/art director: Kevin Thomas

Director: Roger Woodburn

Production company: Park Village Productions

Exposure: National TV

FRENCH CONNECTION

Project: Brand campaign

Client: Stephen Marks,

chief executive

Brief: Relaunch French Connection as a leading fashion chain with

attitude

Agency: GGT

Writer: Trevor Beattie

Art director: Jay Pond-Jones

Photographer: Neil Davenport

Typographer: Mick Tonello

Exposure: Regional 96-sheet, supersites, style press

ROWNTREE’S

Project: Rowntree’s

Fruit Pastilles

Client: Sue Hawksworth, brand manager

Brief: Launch summer fruits

Agency: Ammirati Puris Lintas

Writer: Joolz Sparkes

Art director: Nelson Taj

Photographer: Stock shots

Typographer: Simon Fairweather

Exposure: National posters

SMITH AND NEPHEW CONSUMER PRODUCTS

Project: Lil-lets tampons

Client: Shelley Law, marketing manager

Brief: Quietly announce the growing success of Lil-lets in the tampon

market

Agency: Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe

Writer: Robert Campbell

Art director: Mark Roalfe

Director: Simon Taylor

Production company: Tomato

Exposure: National terrestrial and satellite TV