Private view

If you’re looking for the traditional spilt blood of a true Private View, stop now. Check out Stefano’s column instead. Or ring up John Prescott and say, ‘Mr Prescott, don’t you think the Tories are OK, really?’. Or practise your own Jeremy Paxman impersonation (‘come off it, Prime Minister, it’s all a bit of a cock-up isn’t it?’). Me? I’m still admiring the glittering gems on my TV.

If you’re looking for the traditional spilt blood of a true Private

View, stop now. Check out Stefano’s column instead. Or ring up John

Prescott and say, ‘Mr Prescott, don’t you think the Tories are OK,

really?’. Or practise your own Jeremy Paxman impersonation (‘come off

it, Prime Minister, it’s all a bit of a cock-up isn’t it?’). Me? I’m

still admiring the glittering gems on my TV.



They were put there by BMP for the Ministry of Sound. The brief? To

encourage 18- to 24-year-olds to vote in the next election. The idea?

Thirty-second documentaries that air the appalling views of assorted

bigots, crackpots and racists; each film rounded off with the salutary

message: ‘Use your vote, you know he’ll use his.’ Your mouth falls open

as you watch a racist ranting: ‘I want the scum and filth out! I want

this country run by white people!’ Your jaw bounces on the coffee table

in front of you as a misogynist explains: ‘I think women are happiest if

they’ve been given a routine job in which they’re given the rules.’ I

don’t doubt the inspiration for this procession of misfits came from an

infamous BBC 2 40 Minutes documentary - I think it was called the

Shooting Party. But that’s not a carp. This is inspired stuff. It

actually makes you want to vote. If only it could solve the problem of

who to vote for.



Let’s move on to something else I like: women’s underwear. I’m not in

the market for hold-up stockings right now, although that could change

when the theme of this year’s agency Christmas party is announced. But

Aristoc’s ‘Warning. Hold-ups ahead’ is a witty six-sheet to put by the

side of the road. It’s a tease for the 48-sheet full-length reveal

that’s supposed to follow a few yards further along. Nice idea, ruined

by the route I take to work. I keep getting the tease without seeing the

full works. It’s like being condemned to relive my puberty.



One of the two Polaroid films is very good indeed, so let me concentrate

on that. It whisks you to the office of a Japanese organisation where

the young hero is being red-carded by his boss. The hero’s revenge is to

grab the office Polaroid camera, duck into the toilet, flash a few

times, and pop the results in the internal post to his erstwhile

employer. It’s a piece of bravura film-making, but perhaps what truly

elevates it above the ordinary is the setting. How many of us, writing

the same story, would have set the action in Europe, with a European

hero? (Age 22, good-looking etc etc.)



On to DNA, which is an alcoholic spring water. That’s another way of

saying it’s watered-down alcohol. The images are suitably arcane for a

young target market. And the tone comes straight from Patrick McGoohan’s

the Prisoner. ‘I am not a rumour,’ the voice says, ‘I am copyright. I am

not a souvenir.’ The result is what Richie Benaud would call a ‘good

effett’. And the endline - ‘pure water that’s lost its innocence’ - has

possibilities.



I do miss seeing the old Peugeot 306 ad. I miss hearing the immortal

line: ‘Nice car. Wanna show me what it can do?’ Followed by that shot.

You know the one. The one where the heroine clawed at the interior

window of the car while the hero, both hands on the wheel, wore a

puzzled Thunderbirds impression as he tried to work out why indigestion

affected his woman that way. In the new ad, the couple are having such a

rollicking good time, snogging, dancing and steaming up the windows,

that they barely remember to pick up the children from the grandparents.

It’s a more credible ad. But I wonder. Will it be as memorable as its

kitsch predecessor?



Finally, BT. They’ve chosen quiet illustrations to announce massive

price cuts. But I work for one of BT’s competitors, so if I suggested

that BT could have done noisier, newsier, more emotional work you

wouldn’t believe me. Besides, the agency concerned has done lots of

other good work for BT and you’d like me to keep this column positive.



Jerry Green is the creative director of McCann-Erickson



Peugeot



Project: 306

Client: Kel Walker, advertising director

Brief: Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to have a

boring car

Agency: Euro RSCG Wnek Gosper

Writer: Mark Wnek

Art director: Oliver Caporn

Director: Peter Smillie

Production company: Smillie Films

Exposure: National TV



BT



Project: Price campaign

Client: Sholto Douglas-Home, head of advertising

Brief: Announce various price cuts on national and international calls

Agency: Abbott Mead Vickers BBDO

Writer: Steve Spence

Art director: Trevor Kennedy

Illustrators: Christopher Wormell (‘Ayres Rock’), Alison Jay (‘sun’), Emma Parker (‘moon’), Brad Gray (‘globe’)

Exposure: National posters and press



Aristoc



Project: Hold-up stocking

Client: Danny Hughes, marketing manager

Brief: Make women feel confident about wearing hold-ups

Agency: WCRS

Writer: Ruth Jackson

Art director: Emma Reddish

Photographer: Michel Momy

Typographer: Barry Brand

Exposure: National six-sheet and 48-sheet posters



Herres Group



Project: DNA

Client: Adolph Huesgen, export director

Brief: Launch DNA alcoholic spring water

Agency: Summerfield Wilmot Keene

Writers: Dave Copeland, Paul Wilmot

Art director: Pat Thomas

Director: BDH Athletico

Production company: The Producers

Exposure: Channel 4 and satellite TV



Polaroid Europe



Project: Polaroid Instant Camera

Client: Tim Palmer, European marketing director

Brief: Show how Polaroid lets you live for the moment

Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty

Writer: Nick Worthington

Art director: John Gorse

Director: Michel Gondry

Production company: Partizan Midi Minuit

Exposure: National TV



Ministry of Sound



Project: Use Your Vote

Client: Mark Rodol, managing director

Brief: Get 18- to 24-year-olds to vote in the next election

Agency: BMP DDB

Writer: Andy McLeod

Art director: Richard Flintham

Director: Dominic Murphy

Production company: Produktion

Exposure: Cinema