Well done if your work is among that submitted for my appraisal this week: I’ve just returned from my honeymoon and find myself at the very peak of my personal benevolence index.

Well done if your work is among that submitted for my appraisal

this week: I’ve just returned from my honeymoon and find myself at the

very peak of my personal benevolence index.

Even the ceaseless wrangling with Mawhinney over what he wants in his

office (basically, I’ve drawn the line over the Goblin Teasmade in

Manchester United colours) had failed to shake my Desmond Lynamesque


Not that it matters what mood you’re in when you see the latest stuff

from First Direct. The ads illustrate the daftness of bank charges by

having Bob Mortimer wander round the park charging ordinary folk for

such things as wearing teeth, carrying bags or having shoes that make a

tippy tappy noise.

They’re single-minded, funny and endlessly watchable. So despite the

fact they compete with our work for Abbey National, they get a cheery

twinkle from the man in the bobbly cardigan.

Next, the Terry’s Chocolate Orange campaign from the increasingly

irritating, over-achieving BMP DDB. Sadly, in true Des Lynam style, I

can only say: ’How did they do that?’

The commercials star Dawn French who, in the words of the carping,

mean-spirited creative (a species on the alarming increase in our


Discuss), ’has been done before’. Not like this she hasn’t, mate. In

these ads Dawn more than fills the role she was born for: an unabashed

monument to the joys of eating chocolate.

The cardie and avuncular moustache stay on for Teletext, that hideously

unsexy information service rendered in 70s Space Invader graphics, which

has you heading for your nearest student union bar to spill lager over

your cagoule.

Yet, as Des would say, the ads are terrific. They show us simply,

humorously and with not inconsiderable directorial panache, the benefits

to be gleaned from Teletext pages, such as holidays, concerts, not

getting caught in the rain and so on. Super stuff.

These ads are unlikely to be entered for awards as the agency

responsible is St Luke’s. However, I’m sure a Silver Wnek would be

rapturously accepted and given pride of place next to its Agency of the

Year trophy.

The spots for Eden Vale Munch Bunch Pot Shots are a different


They show us various fruits running around like little men, squawking in

cartoon voices and having an adventure.

You may say that doesn’t sound very inspiring - and you’d be right.

There isn’t enough cocoa in the world to make me mellow enough to

commend them. Are kids really capable of liking this stuff? Presumably

so, or people wouldn’t bother making it.

Bothering, however, is much in evidence in the posters for Dr Stuart’s

Fruit Teas. Many talented people have been involved, doubtless

flagellating themselves in the pursuit of artistic perfection. But

blokes painted purple pretending to be blackcurrants? Do me a flavour!

(Not quite as bad, admittedly, as fruit pretending to be blokes.)

The last work to benefit from my kindly disposition this week is for

Diet Delight, a spread that purports to unveil the new you. These

unpretentious executions briskly show us the benefits of losing weight,

ie you get thinner.

They’re not a pretty sight but should catch the eye of the mums flicking

through the glossies, and I suppose you can’t say fairer than that.

Well, I can’t anyway, honeymoon or no bloody honeymoon.


Project: Branding campaign

Client: Gary Bean, head of marketing

Brief: Demonstrate how the information on Teletext can affect people’s


Agency: St Luke’s

Copywriter: Tom Childs

Art director: Ed Morris

Director: Matt Winn

Production company: Freedom Films

Exposure: National TV

The East India Tea Company

Project: Dr Stuart’s Fruit & Herbal Teas

Client: Tim Meadow Smith, marketing director

Brief: Re-introduce herbal teas into the market and update their image

Agency: Barrett Cernis Delves

Writer: Andy Imrie

Art director: Ray Barrett

Photographer: Mark Davison

Typographer: Ray Barrett

Exposure: National press, posters and bus-sides

Van den Bergh Foods

Project: Diet Delight

Client: not supplied

Brief: Convey that Delight is the perfect spread for people who want to

lose weight

Agency: Ogilvy & Mather

Writer: Nicola Gill

Art director: Sally Bargeman

Photographer: Paul Bevitt

Exposure: Slimming press and women’s magazines

First Direct

Project: Branding campaign

Client: Mike Phillipson, brand communications manager

Brief: Position First Direct as the forward-thinking solution to absurd,

conventional banking practice

Agency: WCRS

Writer: Larry Barker

Art director: Rooney Carruthers

Director: Mike Stephenson

Production company: The Paul Weiland Film Company

Exposure: Regional TV

Kraft Jacob Suchard Confectionery

Project: Terry’s Chocolate Orange bar and ball

Advertiser: Malcolm Kerr, marketing director, confectionery

Brief: Capture the honest relationship women have with chocolate andshow

that Chocolate Orange is fun to eat

Agency: BMP DDB

Writer: Dave Buchanan

Art director: Mike Hannett

Director: Ross Kramer

Production company: Tony Kaye Films

Exposure: National TV

Eden Vale

Project: Munch Bunch Pot Shots fromage frais

Client: Anthony Robson, marketing manager

Brief: Munch Bunch Pot Shots have totally natural ingredients

Agency: Bates Dorland

Writer: Andy McGuinness

Art director: Dick Dunford

Director: Paul Smith

Production company: Thumbs Up

Exposure: National TV