Wotcher playmates! Hands up anyone not working on a dotcom pitch.

Wotcher playmates! Hands up anyone not working on a dotcom


Thought so. My advice is, don’t bust a gut. There’s plenty to go around

and I’m sure we’ll all end up with about 27 each. On to the brave


Kellogg’s Corn Flakes has got a commercial about some biddy who can’t

get up in the morning and only a bowl of cornys can save the day. Sort

of true actually, but this is so over the top that the truth is


I don’t know why, but this advertising seems like something out of the


Continuing with television we have a spot for Carlsberg Export.

Persevering with the hoary old strategy of ’so good they don’t want you

to have it’, this time it’s a politico whose sordid past includes

driving a beer lorry to England.

Brave move to use video to give it a real news conference feel. But no

points for bottling out and shooting the pack shot on film, though.

Now for a bit of press, and here I’m wandering into an area I know

little about - make-up. These ads for Manifesto, Isabella Rossellini’s

brand of slap, are a little confused. There’s a quote from the lady

herself, tucked away at the top, a bit of make-up thrown about the place

and some pictures of models trying to pretend they’re just ordinary ugly

people like you or I.

Again, tucked away in another corner is a quite interesting bit of


I didn’t know where to look if I’m honest. Still, my personal assistant

likes it so what do I know?

Anyway, the best ad for make-up is the Tigress herself, who never goes

out looking anything less than immaculate.

Buzz, I presume, is an airline or a ticket booking service. We have a

quite nice illustrative style that shows the founders of the said

company coming up with some brilliant stratagems for luring the punters.

The endline is: ’Three people had an idea.’ I’m surprised it took that


Back on the box we have Thorntons. Now, there were so many kids running

around in this and so much beautiful photography, I wasn’t sure if I was

watching an Orange or a chocolate ad. Or possibly a Chocolate Orange


Except it can’t be a Chocolate Orange ad ’cos they’re well branded


Now, these do look lovely, but do children like the kind of poncefied

chocs that Thorntons turn out, or am I missing the point? Are these

aimed at the child inside?

What’s wrong with the chocolate toolset, that’s what I want to know?

That’s a record second mention of the chocolate toolset within these


I expect a relaunch any time now.

Last, but not least, we have Pretty Polly and their spacehopper ad. I

love this ad. Gorgeous women bouncing, quite literally, up and down on

squidgy spacehoppers, all long-haired and giggly. When I played this ad,

within seconds the office filled up with blokes and I had to play it

half a dozen times. Talk about ’all day up tights’, I was up all night

with my own spacehopper-style protrusion. It’s fabulous. Only a girl

wouldn’t like these ads. Which is a shame because unless they’re aiming

at the fairly limited Siamese-twin bank robber market, I’m convinced

that women will feel a little shortchanged by these ads.

And far be it from me to jump on a Campaign bandwagon but, as we near

the end of the century, these ’laddish’ tendencies seem to be

increasingly out of place.

If this sort of stuff works on women, then I’m disappointed. It’s almost

as if the only way women feel they can be accepted is to play along with

the roles that men set out for them. Tell me I’m wrong, because while

they might be evil incarnate, I’d hate my two girls to grow up in a

world like that.


Project: Carlsberg Export

Client: Tony Vaughan, director of brands

Brief: Build on the success of the first ad

Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi

Writer: Ed Robinson

Art director: David Hillyard

Director: David Kellogg

Production company: Propaganda Films

Exposure: National TV


Project: Kellogg’s Corn Flakes

Client: Clare Hetherington, marketing manager

Brief: Kellogg’s Corn Flakes - the best way to wake up

Agency: J. Walter Thompson

Writer: Matthew Lloyd

Art director: Dave Woodall

Director: Mandie Fletcher

Production company: The Artists Company

Exposure: National TV


Project: All Day Up range

Client: Brian Duffy, managing director

Brief: Launch All Day Up, the most exciting product innovation in the

hosiery marketplace. Finally a pair of tights that stay in place

Agency: TBWA GGT Simons Palmer

Writer: Trevor Beattie

Art director: Bil Bungay

Director: Graham Fink

Production company: Paul Weiland Film Company

Exposure: National TV and satellite


Project: Isabella Rossellini’s Manifesto

Client: Patrick Albaladejo, senior vice-president, international


Brief: Launch Isabella Rossellini’s Manifesto, a new cosmetics range

Agency: Leagas Delaney

Writer: Mark Goodwin

Art directors: Tiger Savage, Darryl McDonald

Photographer: Miles Aldridge

Exposure: Worldwide press


Project: Buzz

Client: Tony Camacho, network organiser

Brief: Launch Buzz

Agency: WCRS Writer: Remco Graham

Art director: Caroline Hampstead

Exposure: Outdoor


Project: Chocolate heaven

Client: Sarah Neath, head of brand communications

Brief: Bring the ’chocolate heaven since 1911’ line to life

Agency: Rainey Kelly Campbell Roalfe/Y&R

Writer: Pip Bishop

Art director: Chris Hodgkiss

Director: Kevin Thomas

Production company: Godman

Exposure: National TV

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